N/C ultimate insult to them. he wasnt giving me any money since he got back, i was paying for all the bills (he was out of work for a while tooo). When thinking about it all in the past week I see that I took care of him, and then began laying down boundaries that he took from me. Unfortunately, you werent. Im sorry youre going through this, Marie, but glad to know you were able to break free. Same thing, she came back after 8 months, saying she was so stupid, now she knew want she wanted, se wont never break up with you, she made alot of mistakes! So I nearly died laughing. I miss my grandchildren terribly! Im feeling a lot lighter now , still having an off moment thinking of my ex and how I still love him but Im hoping now this will fade x, Yes Paul I am just now getting out of a telstionship with a sociopath/narc. Yes, he finished our marriage with an email. Maybe they've even said that they can't see you, speak to you or be friends. He played her, just like he played me. GOODBYE disorderhello emotionally regulated peoples! I realized i enabled him. Told me how everyone loves him and that im the only one who makes him act like this. Hed shout at her and call her a bitch. I know I cant help him anymore but I do wish he could man up and tell me why he really is emailing me. But still, I was SO brainwashed and under his control that I dont think it would have made a dent. It may be that he hired an attorney and hes going by the attorneys advice in order to avoid something in court or use the visits to his advantage in some way. Ive lost friends through him, and now have no job, home or basically life. Dont feel bad. but I am turned OFF. At first i thought this girl dumped him. At the same time I knew something was wrong? Now he has call me several time, wants to see me , send me text with pictures of us , and new pictures of him in his spectacular fit body! I swear you are writing about my guy!! !, Ms. They love your struggeling and attention. Anyone who can lie without blinking an eye like that is scary. Blessings to EVRYBODY on this journey!!!! I hope there is something there for you to link into. its been a year and a half and I am slowly finding myself again but why do I still miss him he left me in debt everything was in my name at his request I was on limited income he never offered help he has a pokie addiction and rarely sees or contacts his kids accept on his terms. I had a narcissistic mother. I wish I knew about this before. The more time that goes by, the more the pain subsides, and I try to change my memories to make it possible to talk. It will come BK around, watch . it is a source of strength, and helps fuel determination never to be abused again by one of these types of people. In fact I never caught her in a lie? If you get through this pain that you are feeling by sticking with rejecting his attempts at getting you back, the pain WILL get better. do not ever speak of anything youve done to your ex again. We were married for 20 years. I miss her. He moved quickly, telling me, he loved me, he wanted to marry me, he waited his whole life for mehe would never leave me, I would never leave him, I was the best sex he had ever experienced, I was the only person who kept him calm.etc.,etc., etc(Things my good husband had told me for years) I believed it all. I dont mean things like oh she hid money or oh she flirted with people while we were together. I have written it on all down on a blog so its dating from the end of November to last week. He lets *nobody* into his world, but he let *me* in. So much has happened in our relationship in a bad way and he always says it me. Please do not tell yourself that you have been silly or stupid enough to put up with his nonsenseIT CAN HAPPEN TO ANYONE. They cannot and will not change simply because they dont have the capability to reflect on how their actions create havoc in their lives. I find myself so jealous of this relationship and cry because I feel so lonely. Sorry. Even though Ive gotten rid of his number and changed mine im actually worried that he will get in touch some way again as he knows where I live. Social Media I cnt stress enough is an illusion!!!! But as was the case with you, and all the partners they had before you, the new supply will eventually be devalued and discarded, too. All this in one fight! I need that man to feel the very exact pain he has caused me.. (2 granddaughters now). I am dying a slow death. Also pointed out that I never met one single friend of hers and that she had to have me around all hours of the day or got angry. Every time I read your blog, I feel less alone in my recovery. Things he said not adding up. They leave and they show up again in the most random time. You dont need to help, listen, contort or subject yourself to his hatred. Thats part of the NARC agenda [emailprotected] blah blah He threatened to kill me and throw me in the lake where no one would ever find me. I wish he were different, I wish we could be friends, but he is not a friend and I know that. No acknowledgement of all youve gone through. Now she is without a shadow of a doubt a Professional Victim. The spyware also revealed his porn addiction of young white girls having sex with black men. FOR EVERYTHING. I, too, have the work trip/co-worker issue. Its sad that I wasted 4 years of my life. Why do they do this? I remembered his hateful comments that I could be replaced, like I was some disposable object. Ive lost my lover, my partner, my confidante, my DREAM. Get away from them they will never change. Im sad, still traumatized at the discard process (back and forth for about 3 months!) Got in my face telling me how he likes to hurt people and how it makes him feel good to hurt people that disrespect him. Maybe so he feels like his God? Ive found that self love finally in my mid 30s but I also think narcissists are born and not necessarily made. I am only 1 week with the NC. He says Im looney. Because they will never let you truly SEE inside them because they are ashamed of whats there. But they also got a lot of me to. Even though she kicked him out. SUPPLY AFTER SUPPLY????? But, I do feel blessed to have forgiven and freed myself from much pain and guilt in a relationship that I didnt cause. ), 3 Reasons to Stop Proving Yourself to the Narcissist, Narcissism Isnt the Only Red Flag You Should Be Focused On. Give yourself a break.do as Kim instructs. i cannot imagine what 1 year or 5 years or even 20-30 years would be like. And deffo not asked to meet up and not given him the satisfaction of knowing how hurt I was. I know he wins when I do this. Wishing you all the very best in your healing journey <3. But I do daily reading and the more I read the more I understand what he is and why he does it! He calls her every night but i had to completely move out of my city bc even going out in public would cause panic with in me. What real man of God goes on with life and sleep at night with all that on his conscious? Hi Candy, thank you for sharing your story and your struggles. his oppressive energy permeated my body. Something inside me just said no. Its A NEW SUPPLY I met his friends on only one occasion during the 8 months at his birthday party and he introduced me by my first name only. Ive been through a lot in my life time but nothing compares to the emotional pain that I have experienced with him over the past three years. Can you advise me on the above issues, to explain these behaviours, many thanks Kristie. So in a way it was a blessing, because I have a tendency to get sentimental. Another voicemail. I promise within the next few days your head will clear and youll feel as good as you did before the concert. The second go round was just confirmation ultimately. No I can tell you that for sure. Since then he was so angry with me he wasnt speaking until a few days ago and says he wants us to work on ourselves and he is changing the trajectory of our relationship. I want it to be. I screamed at her that i got that shit from my husband and that i didnt need it from her too and i ran away. we spend great two days together when I had to return back to my country,milion phone calls messages love confessions yes after a week of knowing each other. Multiple psychopaths. Yours words are so true and spot on. Its been 8 months since I left and havent gone back but sometimes I am glad you realize that the way he treated you had nothing to do with youand everything to do with the fact that he is a controlling, manipulative disordered person. She asked me out..things were great and moved very quickly. All that GLITTERS ISNT GOLD, Never him all day every day!! I have hung on for the last six years believing (via my convincing N) that I was the problem in our relationship. How to know if you're dealing with a narcissist isn't easy. I guess for years Ive been waiting for Gods sighn that its OK to walk away from this. Then I read something eerily familiar. Thanks for letting me reply. perfect for him. I saw the same in my ex narcissist. The ego! he even asked me after he told me about his child hood abuse etc if i would ,ove out in a few months! I swear I just read my story with my exN! I refused to give him a platform or an opportunity to transfer his bad feelings on to mebecause theyll take whatever energy they can get from you, good or bad. Pls tell me how does a Narcissist man treat his mother? I can go back to almost day one when he would tell me thingslittle thingsand my inner alarm would say, thats not true, but I let his WORDS convince me. One day this wont hurt, it wont matter and he will be a distant memory with no feelings attached to it. I can relate. My mind wondered if he will he go younger, would my future kids have been safe? when THYRE done bbbye I still wake up and dont know where I am. Cry me a #$%ng river again? The Narc in my life destroyed me financially and took everything I had. You are a normal person who developed feelings for someone. Rang all his friends and told them how disrespectful I am. I just hung up and have been reading and blogging. But on her Facebook i saw that she was hold a torch for him. thank you for sharing, please repy if you can. In my entire life including today I have had no problem attracting men good men. When she had their daughter in 2012, I cried about itthere was a lot of painful history with babies in my past. It pains me to see the devastation that narcissism brings on a family. When I left I took only what was mine, put the garage door opener, the key to the mailbox and the key to the house on the counter and never looked back. And it is not easy.. He caused a massive drama when he was kicking in my door trying to get, called my boss and nearly got me fired. He said this is why I dont celebrate Christmas anymore. When you guys first had these crazy things done to you by this person, you either thought they had issues or it was you. . He has been manipulating you for years, yes, he had a girlfriend with a girlfriend, and who knows how many in between. It would always result him in packing and going (to his ex I discovered). I've done a little bit of research and talked to some dumpees to understand how long it took their exes to reach out. My x chased me everytime I left and every time I went back the behaviour worsened. And once again thank you for your uplifting words, when I finally heal (some long long long years ahead) I will come back and give more in order to help more people who, unfortunately, met a narcissist(s) and thus destroying their lives like she did mine. Take it as a divine sign. I WONT go into my long ordeal other than 7yrs wasted in debt discarded an love bombing just 3mos ago. We had some explosive fights in the beginning but our chemistry was so strong that wed immediately end up in bed the next day for makeup sex. I do not think so now?? He knows Moms memory is failing, so he asked her if she remembered him, and she said Yes then proceeded to immediately throw the flowers in the trash. Plus Bering in mind We had only been back together 6 weeks after he chased me no end to give him another chance after the last breakup! I heard in due time karma will get em, guess I want it to happen on my time and God doesnt work like that.. Im learning to stay out of Gods way and let him handle him because God sees all and I know hes just waiting on the perfect moment to get this wolf in sheeps clothing.. yes, wolf in sheeps clothing meaning this man is also playing with and using God as far as having the audacity to now b an ordained pastor and having the nerve to really go through this ceremony with all he has done to me.. no empathy, no remorse, no mends made, not involved in his sons life, nothing. Thank you Kim, you are helping a great deal of women (and men) by posting your words. My sons father so lost his mind with stress he tried to have my children taken from me, said I raped him and did many other atrocious things I found out later (such as sending intimate videos he had asked for to others and conspiring with my daughters father to have be buried fortunately he did not go along). I was living out of state with him not knowing anyone. And then little by little it started becoming a living hell. He has ruined special occasions with his lies and disappointments. I havent discussed leaving him or why, and I know he would never listen to the why he would just walk away leaving me with no satisfaction; hes the coldest person I know. He went MAD and I mean MAD. I read that baby bedtime stories and pulled her around their neighborhood in a little red wagon.going fast enough to make sure she was laughing and enjoying herself. He had his face out of his cell phone, left his phone in the car while out for dinner lol. Every decision was overwhelming. Yes, try to drive YOU to your demise. I was numb with grief. The only thing he has to brag about is how good he is in bed because thats really all he has to offer. I know this is month of October and you had posted your story in July. I am sat here totally confused by it all . I broke up with my ex covert narc recently. it didnt make sense to me, nothing made sense. Even though Ive gotten rid of his number and changed mine im actually worried that he will get in touch some way again as he knows where I live. Now he is in remission. i know if he knows, he will think im crazy but i think Im crazy. Whether male or female, individuals with NPD will leave you emotionally blackened. Do you remember when you were happy?? I am completely thrown by this because, of course, I too like many others has thrown away my good life for her love. Thanks agaon! Its all about keeping face though and leave you wondering. maybe thats why he pays things for me now. Saying he could do better than me and so on. I know I need to go no contact. I wouldnt be surprised if he did, Hi Brigitte, it must be hard when you live so close by that you can run into him. All He misses not being able to be himself. I am so hopping my ex N ends up with one, It is the only way he will realize the pain he has inflicted upon me and who knows other women out there and he wont be able to pray on innocent women like us. It helps to keep me strong. Porn is a poor substitute for real female contact. To answer your question and Im speaking in general terms here Narcissists will often latch onto a new source of supply and seem very indifferent regarding the breakup with their previous partners. Just consider my posts a little contribution to your healing journey <3. Shes shy and somewhat conservative.doesnt dress in a sexy or flashy way and could care less about new cars or status symbols. i guess its so he can be the hero to his friends n family. If he texts a random photo which he shouldnt because theres no reason to- I now think thats his attempt to manipulate me and delete it right away. I am with you ladies and know your pain. The invitations to things with my family. 6 weeks ago My Narc suddenly died in my arms. Then they will blame it on you. If hes really sociopathic, once you fall for the feigned remorse and let him in, he immediately drops the mask and makes you pay for implementing No Contact. Under the law he didnt have a leg to stand on. I think Im much better today as I truly begin to c each day does get better and the load a little lighter.. and Im happy to reply anytime you need someone to talk to. thank God my 20 year old stopped him or he probably would have hurt me worse. a nasty, human being unable to love or appreciate any of the good things in life, to love and be loved, he will never get it .. he will be forever lonely no matter who he choses to try fill the void in his empty soul. Its as if a cloud has been lifted. Another part of me is glad that his text got through. Having pornography so ubiquitous in our society is creating more narcissists to get away with it. Yet I love him but dont want that BS anymore! Hi Jay. A, in my experience, as well as others I have worked with, you can try to be there for the Narcissist, but its highly unlikely that your efforts would be acknowledged or appreciated. I save the exchanges so when I feel like I miss the person, I read their BS excuses and realize what a dirtbag I was duped into thinking I loved. I still struggle with this whole horrific ordeal everyday, but I am n a much better place than I was months ago because being hurt the way I have damn near cost me to lose my mind.. From now on, I want older women that are okay looking, but absolutely beautiful on the inside. Funny because I havent cried since we broke up in June. but you are dealing with a narcissist here and they think differently from normal people. So until It might take me two years but I will eventually have a good life. So somewhere in there I must be moving on somewhat! In the last 6 months has had 3 girlfriends, all of which were the love of his life He loves to parade them in my face and that of his kids. There is no way out of this mess he has left me in. The main purpose is to make it seem as though you never existed to them; as though youre not even worth acknowledging. Go no-contact! I used to write his words down i knew they were bad but his words became my words. ======================================== Is it ever possible to play a N. and win at anything ? If youre still going through this please have enough soon! Luckily, my previous, lovely ex-boyfriend got in touch after 4 years and came back into my life. Hell be lucky to ever This is particularly painful because you may feel desperate to speak to them, and feel like you . Wont call what I experienced love. Good luck. I wont go into too much detail. We came home for a few weeks in December and both took the flu. My daughter took up the Christmas dinner that I had made for him, his son and granddaughter. I am so happy to have found this account, as I simply thought he was just an A**hole, now I know that he is an N. He made me feel absolutely terrible, inferior, small, I lost my self-esteem and my world was him. He and I are both mature accomplished adults who live in a big city. 15 years of my life he has everything and I nothing! I needed to hear your story! Honestly, Ive never heard of a happy ending after going to therapy with a Narcissist. They both have some narcissist qualitys from him. How can she not ? We lasted six months when we got back together before I ended it. He has been depressed most all of his life. But i see that once he gained my trust why wouldnt i believe his lies, especially as we had so many plans. All the one-off things are now making sense. girlfriend is trying super hard to be my boys friend. he came back. he was a very mean man. I married a narcissist 22 years ago. After reading all the stories , one thing i finally realize , it wasnt me , it is not me, it is HIM. it started with our first Christmas together. With her, its always, about HER. He would have nothing if it wasnt for me. After, 3 months together I started researching NPD. I am strong, I love life and my kids. He is single, so am I. ), can you please provide a link? LOL! lol yep, i joke to hide the pain I guess) Phew be grateful & whatever ya do, dont look back! I want revenge but thats not possibleno contact is closureunbearable sometimes.hes lost nothing, probably gained more due to his high cocky confidence, people love him on first impressions, my friends actually disliked him! And I know hes dying inside to be rejected by ME, his prize possession.. So youre left holding the bag that is your heart in a million pieces with no one to say, Im sorry. so one day he was lovely and on the other he was a jerk, so I was like a marionette for weeks, cooking special dishes, treating him like a king. Over time, the gambit of thoughts and emotions overwhelmed mehow could someone profess to love me and treat me like that? All of my past emotions are back, confusing me if he is really a bad person or not. Reblogged this on The Bard Seeker and commented: I went back hoping that he had changedhe pretended that he hadbut it was the same BS. Thinks all the stuff he did that I forgave that he will once again break me to want him! Only certain exes Can You be Friends With a Narcissist Ex? hehe Ugh, the problem is that when she turns the personality on, it can really fool youand she is very cute and charming when she wants to be and very beautiful on the outside. Sometimes I think trying to be overly protective creates the loneliness and sends you straight back to the x. document.getElementById( "ak_js_2" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); Free Training 7 Proven Strategies to Defeat Narcissistic Abuse. Women too! I was in a 3 year relationship with a Narcissist. On our 4th anniversary he disappointed me again, no divorce. He has broke So, today got an e-mail that I opened and have mixed feelings about. Vanessa, thank you for sharing your poignant and touching story. He is an amazing person. One, it was too hard to revisit and two I felt he didnt deserve to be mourned. I wish you all the best. Im having a hard time being disciplined and I feel terrible about myself. Im ready though because I realize that I will be in pain no matter what I do. I just broke up with her (again) yesterday. You will never get one, ever.! I think there truly are demons inside these men who allow themselves to be taken over. Im doing fine now. Moved out, (second time this happened) took most everything and has not been heard from for nearly five months. I am / was in this circle for over a year now and cannot understand what made me so blind and submissive i would never think I will let a man do so many bad things to me and still keep comming back for more. So this one fine day i dropped him like he was a pos, just as he dropped me in the past and gave me the silent treatment. I guess seeing him triggered something..Its easier to forget about him because he stopped calling and theres no real chance of us running into another as we dont live in the same city. Youre welcome, Donna. I realize hes crazy along with this disorder which means he will either self destruct or someone will hurt him one day. Someone with serious NPD. Its been very hard for me to get through this. blessings, courage , strength to make a better life for you!!!!!!!!!! It suddenly dawned on me that I needed to finish things, as my feelings for him were getting to intense, and I knew he would not visit me, and didnt care enough. He goes to work and i know this because ive driven by there .I was worried something might of happened to him. She needs material things. How do I find me??? Im lonely enough to! MALE/FEMALE NARCS THYRE HOLLOW, INSECURE, USERS, PERIOD. so I stayed sharp and alert with him and in the background I was on a mission to find out everything i could about him. your doing good with not drinking. Good on you, always watch your back, stay safe and be on guard just in case this crazy man surprises you out of no where!! I know how hard it feels dear, I would answer his calls and just the sound of his words flowing into my ears would make me want to cry. The latest was a discussion on if I could afford to see the children this year. Not sure I can through email! I saw his passport days before at his office, and I new that the bullets were in the closet, so I didnt open. Thank you for reading my post and for sharing. I now laugh at these people I used to be so close to who now think Im this horrible woman. Chatting love notes and letters to her on yahoo while I was sleeping in the bedroom of our home. I will not speak to him but did go off on him for being a lying horrible evil person. Sometimes a triggering event will motivate the narcissist to leave. Instilling no contact with a narcissist is an utter rejection for them. eventually my dad shoved her out of the room, which in her mind became he strangled me and she threatened to call cops..i dont know if she has bpd or npdi just no im 3 days into a breakup, and im wondering what craziness to expect. In April last year we went to Florida with my daughter and his 14 year old granddaughter. Loneliness I kept going back and kept getting hurt over and over again until I had had enough. My ex and I separated again Christmas Day just gone, we have a son together and it makes the burden of it all simply impossible ! I would love to go absolutely no contact, however, we have two small children together and they love him (as they should). I believe that the reason people allow themselves to be treated like this is, for me anyway, that we are flabbergasted by the unsanitary and just cant believe anyone can really act this way an truly have no regret. They lash out like that. Doing anything less is like allowing a viper to live in your home, never knowing when it will strike. my advice is to move away from this man. I went to his office and he told me that now he was sure we were over. I will be 77. My self esteem was at all time low and I feel i allowed this verbal abuse to continue. But at the same time, I hope he realizes that what goes around comes around. Its so hard to move on . Hes a ladies man, so it was probably doomed from the start ANYWAY. I dont know why, but that hurt. For me it happened to be a girlfriend.

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