i have a crush on an older woman

How she approaches a friendship like this is very possibly different from how you approach it. But Im much more mature and experienced now than I was then, and my experiences are much more rounded than they were at the time. Its awful and unfair and I hope it is resolved well), LW4 I have no advice but damn, I am so sorry. If I keep a journal, I might write that I received a Christmas card from Estranged Relative, along with mentioning that it was 25 and lightly snowing that day, and that I had a doctors appointment to see about that lump on my wrist. I dont know if shes under a ton of stress over this pandemic (some of us have been operating at crisis management levels for too long) and really relies on your friendly night hikes and chats for some sort of normalcy. Optics are important. Do not declare your love or make a grand speech about how youve always thought about her romantically while she thought you were just friends just simply offer once the way Alison suggested and if she says no, then you get to continue to have a great friendship like you already have. I have 9 year age difference with DH and we met when he turned 21, but we are from two two distinct generations when it comes to cultural experience. And thats fine! Distraction. OP 1: I think you know the answer to your question and the answer is Dont. This kind of thing is very much a use your words scenario. If it was a trap then that is even scarier in terms of future at the company. ), I am a cat-like standoffish introvert who prefers dogs. If it were a romantic candlelit dinner, that would be romantic. There was no romantic interest on either side, we just enjoyed talking together. I had a thing with about the same ages as in the LWs case, with me the younger half. I wouldnt read much into the night hikes, personally I spend one-on-one time with lots of male friends/coworkers (at all times of day) with absolutely no romantic interest on either side. It would be possible to be interested in potentially dating somebody and being open to romance with them but wanting to explore that transition really slowly. I dont want to over share with my boss or co-workers, but it also seems relevant for people to be aware when youre experiencing something devastating in your home life, no? Was this a diary in the British sense, meaning a calendar, or in the U.S. sense of a personal journal? Its always best to ask about fees up front. Tons of people do work for the Gates Foundation! My achievement of say, getting dressed and finding my masks in the morning over the season is just as important as someone else spending the season getting hammered with their mates. It wasnt clear from the letter if there is an appeal option, but I would think there should be, especially when they are demanding repayment of thousands of dollars. If theyre looking for an actual conversation, try to talk about how their Christmas was, most people like talking about themselves more anyways, especially if the had a good time. Your eyes are just taking in the entire scene and your name will jump out at you. :-D, Im glad I didnt change my standard tea order in anticipation of a Christmas gift of teas (my husbands family do an open Secret Santa where you give a wishlist to somebody) as my BIL missed the bit about redbush/honeybush possibly white tea, but cant tolerate caffeine (but its nearly his fiances mums birthday so theyll pass it on to her and when things are better and we can do a proper everybody get together meet-up I will get a replacement). Insurance: Does she though? But she wasnt his friend, she was his manager. Things like that. And ideally theyll be pushing for more funding for the agency, rather than taking up agency staff time demanding simple answers to complex issues. What you consider deep intellectual conversation is usually very different at 36 versus 21. I hope you have the same good luck. Check out A Nice Cup of Tea Binnie Hale on youtube for a good old sing sing. Id normally discourage you from pursuing anything, because women need to be able to exist at work without being hit on when theyre friendly and also because of the age difference, but those late night hikes sound like youre certainly close. Questions like, Did you get some rest in over the break/Watch any good tv/Cook anything interesting? The assumption seems to generally be that no one had the Christmas and/or New Year they ideally wouldve wanted. I have worked at a few different locations. I like this because it allows me to sort of throw snark at the people who are selfishly not following the things we have been asked to do. OP has a crush, but I dont see anything to suggest shes manipulated him into it, encouraged it, or even been aware of it. So if youd asked me directly about whether you should ask her out Id read you Alisons answer but also add a bit about maybe waiting till this unprecedented catastrophic situation has become more managed and less bad. LW#5, did you work for Bill Gates personally or for the Gates Foundation? Ive used that sort of thing for task lists and deadlines? LW1 is still working at the same job hes had since high school and is likely a college student. OP3: This just isnt something about which you need to be honest, or at least factual. Without saying she saw the diary, she can ask for feedback and try to open a conversation about the managers assessment of her work. You dont seem to be one of them. It doesnt mean youre mature as in wow, you have a lot of life experience and are very wise. It means its nice to see there are 21 year olds who dont act as if theyre in a drinking contest all the g d time.. In addition, as someone who was an only child for a long time, I was more used to being around adults than other kids and so have always been able to hit it off with people a generation older than me. At OldJob quite a few years ago, the directors 9 y o son died suddenly on Christmas day. At 36, you should know better. Lock our computers and put away all the papers. Although it could be a regional/occupational thing. Was it pretty much a solid No? Maturity isnt a single attribute. Yes to this and the one above. If it were just a case of having had a bad holiday myself, Id be able to handle it in stride. I have a 27 year difference with my wife (Im female) and we are now going on 21 years together. a printed table showing all the days, weeks, and months of the year: In hindsight, I might be misreading what be warm means here. If I were in her shoes, even if I returned his feelings, that would probably keep me from wanting to pursue anything. Its a program that helps people but its not something that needs a public campaign, thats how you get lots of people contacting unemployment about their stimulus checks, or just because they need help. Sorry youre going through all that. When we started out there were huge differences in terms of where we were in our careers, salaries, etc, as well as how we were thinking about things like taking risks for new opportunities, not to mention different levels of romantic/relationship experience and I was in my late 20s, not 21 and just starting adulthood. . However, I do remember raised eyebrows sometimes for several years when we were out socially. Anne Elliot, I must disagree somewhat. If so, the weird thing is that it would be out and open on their desk, although its possible they were interrupted while using it and didnt expect the LWs wife to come in while they were gone? Just check with the client first, unless your name is already publicly associated with the work. You are both part of someone else's life, yet it feels like you share a special connection. As in, she was supposed to have the reports done by 10am but she spent so much time pissing around that I didnt get them until 2pm!. In fact, people who flag that theyre mentally older or more mature tend to be the very opposite. I mean I wasnt getting blackout drunk at 21 either. I would greatly appreciate any thoughts on my predicament. Our UI office is like that. I could see myself having a more casual, just for fun relationship with someone younger. Single people hook up. Sure, maybe my Facebook feed is now an echo chamber, but Im really only on there to see pics of friends and familys kids and pets etc. (Will admit to looking forward to vaccines though if the person asking is friends with me, because that generally ends the conversation on a hope note). But I have heard of people having dates in the park and bringing their own food and social distancing. It was going to cost me over $5000 simply because the doctor sent the bill to my insurance past the time window (more than six months after the procedure) and my insurance wouldnt pay anymore so the doctor was billing me directly and wouldnt budge. If you were 30 and she was 45 it wouldnt bother me as much. Having built a company from scratch to being the national market leader and later selling it to a well-known internet major (i.e. Here are some replies: In the US, diary is typically only used for where you write down your personal thoughts, not a calendar. Had a boss who only kept a written diary at work, refused to use Outlook to book meetings etc. I just want to say I did NOTHING. A calendar hangs on the wall. Lets give people some credit until we have a reason not to. Megan Rapinoe Announces She's Retiring After Women's World Cup - TMZ Roci is correct that the woman in the letter should be aware of the dynamic and cautious at the very least. We were having fun and didnt take it all too seriously. an acquaintance I recommended proselytized to all my clients (with singing), employee lied about his mom dying, coworker is a magpie, and more, my new employee is the parent of my childs bully, how to ask for a raise (because you need to), our remote employees were excluded from our company appreciation day, people keep asking why I wear pantyhose, career coach wants me to use someone elses job title, and more, the faked heart attack, the very smart dog, and other (amazing) stories of pettiness at work. When I left that job, I considered asking him out but Im glad I didnt. As a lawyer Im going to take a different approach. I think what could be a normal convo for her is potentially impressive to someone whose peers are still at a different mentality/life stage. Yeah, when I was 16 or 17 the assistant manager (probably mid-20s, maybe later 20s? But if Im off base and what the 36-year-old is doing is totally appropriate, then dont mind me. Yes, so it jumped out at me that the notebook/diary was out in the open, and well, open. So yes, OP, do call your elected official! Asking a woman out that you work with can be fraught enough without that aspect. Even if the rest of the break sucked, you can usually find one little thing to mention. Huh! Not to mention, a lot of us are just starved for affection now because of the pandemic. honesty? I dont think the night hikes say much about the possibility of romantic interest. The complaint is sent to the defendant, who has a certain amount of time to respond to the complaint. (I hate having to say this since I am not someone who wants any, but most do, so.) Its like driving past a billboard that says BETTER CALL SAUL!!! I doubt a lot of people had a great holiday OP! Another benefit of going through a legislator is that they probably have a point of contact they deal with all the time, and that person can get the OP a more direct method of getting in touch. Given that reality, checking for some real signals is a good idea. Most people that say Im so mature for my age or Im an old soul arent nearly as mature as they think they are. Yes, exactly. Youve also got to be resolved that you wont be the one making it awkward if that happens that youll go on being warm to her and not be weird or resentful. It was glorious. I mean, the bar is set pretty low this year. My husband is 22. My mother was hospitalized due to a recent severe cancer diagnosis over Christmas. No one here is asking much about holiday plans, because the answers tend to range from forced-cheer Oh, nothing much just a lovely quiet day at home at best to Terrible, someone close to me died/is in the hospital.. Its great that it worked out for you but thats the exception, not the rule. I dont see why youd think it does, or want to. I broadly agree that good relationships generally require a bit of work, but taking it seriously isnt at all the same thing as taking any and all conversations with third parties about it seriously. -depending on the outcome of the report and state law, the complaint can be heard by the agency (essentially a trial within the agency); be settled; proceed to an actual court; be dropped by the complainant. Focusing on a justification like that could be a sign of not being mature. I really like the point about uneven maturity. It can definitely work but its also a big, big risk. You need to quickly find when that deadline is and not miss it. Same.this line just throws a flag off in the corner where its barely in my vision, but its there. I mean in fairness they largely let me stay in bed til 9:30, 10 over the holiday but this means that now the eldest is back at school as a keyworkers child, mornings are painful! People arent pushing for more details as lots of people had breaks that were pretty rubbish this year- hopefully something along those lines works for you too. Thats literally what they get paid for, and I still keep the staffers card in my wallet. Like, I wouldnt give into a crush unless I felt this person was the one, so much so that just the chance to be with them is more important than staying at this particular job. Truly, having a crush is one of life's simple pleasures. The unemployment system is not very efficient in many states, and was definitely not meant for this volume in ANY state. Im not sure its possible to have any sort of substantive conversation with either type, even if theyre open to it and are close friends, because they simply dont have the tools. ), its fine to say, Eh, nothing much to report! Its just not healthy. What I was not was emotionally mature and I wince in retrospect at some of the things I did in the interpersonal relationship sphere. #1 Alison is right you are very young and that is a significant age difference. I was also taller than the average teenager. We have two people with a respectful and friendly relationship. If he makes his feelings known, shes unlikely to be pleased about it. deficient relationship/interpersonal skills. I am not so sure it was deliberate snooping. The name will probably be something like [State] Human Rights Commission or [State] Commission on Human Rights. I also havent seen my parents and siblings for over a year, as we live in different countries; and seeing people casually travel to other continents (oh, but well *quarantine*) during the break has also left me feeling like crap. Some people give signs and hints, and some people dont (because well, the other person isnt giving signs, right?). I dont want our agency to have a high profile. Hate mornings. In theory, if youve got all these bases covered, you could simply say, I enjoy spending time with you. I live alone as well, and this has been extremely difficult. Not my situation, but the dynamic of two close friends of mine. Heres one thing Ive learnt during this horrible time: if I get to the end of a day and Ive not ended up back in the psychiatric ward its a victory for me. And at 21, this guy is not necessarily looking for a long-term relationship. Woman and a child remain critically ill after fatal crash at Wimbledon

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i have a crush on an older woman